Reprinted From Penthouse' Unrepentant Voyeur Article, Ralph Gardner

  When I told my mother, with whom I have a relatively frank relationship, that I was writing a story about a masturbation club in Florida, her reaction was, "I always thought masturbation was what a person does on his own. Why do you have to join a club?"   Those were also my sentiments when I first heard about Club Relate, a low-key group of men and women who gather twice a month at hotels around the Sunshine State --- some of its members traveling from as far away as Britain and Germany-to engage in uninhibited masturbatory orgies. Penetration, in case you're already considering joining, is optional.

     The evening's festivities kick off with an extremely civilized social hour in which friends can renew old acquaintance, new members (no pun intended) are introduced, and anybody who wants to can share his or her aspirations for the evening.   "If you'd like to see two girls getting it on, that's your opportunity to say so,' said Simon, a commercial pilot who manages to fly in for seven or eight meetings a year. At the conclusion of the social hour the doors are locked and the masturbators, quickly shedding their clothes, whip out high-powered vibrators, state-of-the-art dildos (the "Relate wand," a magical implement that can massage both the female G spot and the male prostate, though not necessarily at the same time, is club-recommended), even flashlights-though only for added illumination, not insertion."The lighting is subdued," I'm told by Lynda Gayle, Club Relate's randy co-founder, who says that to the best of her knowledge-which is voluminous on the subject of jerking off-hers is the only masturbation-specific swingers' club in America.

    To address my mother's question about what Club Relate offers the recreational masturbator that he or she can't find in the privacy of his or her own bedroom or shower, the answer is: unparalleled visual stimulus. Here are some of the things you'd have witnessed if you'd been lucky enough to attend one of Club Relate's recent meetings:  A beautiful thirtysomething exhibitionist with a "Baywatch' body in black lingerie, who drifted around the hotel suite with a serene smile, beckoning men to pleasure themselves while they ogled her.  Three wives, their husbands forbidden to join them, eating one another out on a king-size bed in a Tampa hotel room. "Two of whom had had no bisexual experience whatsoever," Tom, Lynda's husband and co-conspirator, proudly pointed out.  Ten men coming on one woman-at her request. Tom again: "For women to command the attention of several men at once is extremely flattering to them."

    Club Relate's members-30 of whom on average show up for events--range from unblushing brides in their twenties to seniors whose sexual fires still burn bright. Indeed, for older participants the organization serves as a veritable, fountain of youth. "I've, been able to get older men to come three times in - one night,"  Sharon, a schoolteacher in her forties, boasted. There was also the widow in her sixties who hadn't had sex for years and decided to put her late husband's memory definitively to rest. "When the party started she was just going to watch." Lynda recalled. 'But then she said, 'I've changed my mind I want some of this.' It was like someone had turned a light switch on. I'm telling you, she was a slut that evening. She masturbated several of the guys off.' The widow lady also had her first lesbian experience-with Lynda Gayle, no less. "She ate me up,' the hostess confided, the widow never attended another meeting, but Lynda considers hers a Club Relate success story. "She went home, built a privacy fence around her backyard, installed a hot tub, and is dating a younger man who has a red convertible sports car."

    Club Relate, it's safe to say, is a monument to Lynda's insatiable urge to masturbate and to meet others who share her interest. She even brought up the subject on her first date with Tom. 'Basically I told Tom I masturbate too much,' the voluptuous blonde said. "He pulled his glasses off his nose and said, 'What's too much?' I said, 'I'll have ten to 15 orgasms a day just from masturbation.' And then I thought, Oh no! I've said the wrong thing. Little did I know it was the bait that snagged him."

   The club's first meeting, in 1991, was an unequivocal success.  'It started at four in the afternoon and went on until four in the morning," Lynda remembers. "Of course we broke for dinner.  But it, was still intense.'     That inaugural session featured several memorable scenes, including a threesome involving two women and a vibrator. "We got down on our hands and knees and backed up to it," recalled Sharon, the schoolteacher, who was one of the participants.  'People remember that."    These days the evening is still divided into two sessions separated by a brief intermission. Anybody who's still horney after that is free to adjourn with friends to a private hotel room for an informal third session. Lynda said area hotels welcome the business because club members are discreet and because their credit is good.

     Sharon, who moved to Florida from her native Georgia to be closer to club activities, continues to kick off the festivities. "You know those alabaster eggs you can find at Pier I or at the nature shop?" she asked. "I like to insert one in my vagina. As you walk around it kind of self masturbates. The big trick is to be able to pop it out. It's real warm and kind of interesting to the men.'    Having got their attention, Sharon asks for a few, good men to hold her legs up high as she goes to work on herself with her personal vibrator. "The men like that," she explained. 'It gives them a real close view.   "If she's got a free hand she may be masturbating one of the guys or giving them head," Simon the pilot volunteered.

    Club Relate owes its success to not just its stunning visuals but also its "Thank you, but no thank you" policy. Nobody feels under any pressure, as they might at a conventional swingers' club to get it on with anybody else--neither the young with the old" nor the straight with the bisexual or gay. "I accidentally bumped into a guy," said a new member, "and he jumped back as much as I did which was very comforting."

     The club's chemistry seems the result of perfect synergy between exhibitionists and voyeurs, and between women and the men who slightly out number them. The ladies seem to be able to go much longer than the guys can," Simon noted enviously. It's the men who get the couples into it, and the women who keep them there."  Those who think they have the right stuff, and lots of it, and are over 2l, can reach Club Relate at http://www.Clubrelate.net or write to P.O. Box 574584, Orlando, FL 32857. Annual dues are $50. And the individual party fee is an eminently reasonable - particularly for the multi-orgasmic $75.

    The M.V.P's of one of the club's most recent meetings were Wendy, a 26-year-old homemaker with a dancers body, and Drew, her buff, tanned 33-year-old construction-worker fiancée' -a couple of first-timers who settled into the group's routine seamlessly after some understandable initial butterflies.   Wendy's inhibitions quickly evaporated as the players gathered around to give her a soothing welcome massage. "We started off by just walking around and observing what everybody else was doing," a noticeably more relaxed Wendy said. 'It's like grocery shopping," Drew said. "You're hungry, but you don't know for what."  To the undoubted disappointment of each of the club's regulars, the couple didn't find anything more appetizing than each other on the store's shelves.     'The few attempts that were made by people wanting to touch me, I brushed off,' Wendy says unapologetically.   They gave of themselves to the group in other ways, however. After mixing a couple of screwdrivers, they retired to a quiet corner. "One thing led to another,' Wendy says with a happy sigh.     "Drew went down on me" triggering the first in a succession of explosive orgasms over the course of the evening, while facilitating those of others who pulled up chairs to follow the action.   All of a sudden I opened my eyes,' Wendy said, 'and all I could see was people.      "You have to understand, when she lets go it's really something To see" Drew bragged. "You can see it in every pore of her body. It shows in her face, in the curl of her toes, the arch of her back."

    What the couple discovered that night was that they were unabashed exhibitionists. They loved fucking each other in public and showing off their hard bodies. After going outside for a cigarette break Lynda Gayle forbids smoking and drugs, and discourages drinking at club events -- the lovebirds returned to the suite, where Drew was hoisted onto one of the club's traveling massage table and Wendy started to give him an X-rated massage, with Lynda Gayle's ambidextrous assistance.  'To see him up there on that table displayed for all eyes to see, and covered in oil, and looking as fine as he can, and knowing he's mine, was awesome," Wendv cooed.    "There were four hands and two mouths, Drew, recalled. "And with your eyes closed YOU couldn't tell who was who."    For the record, the hands working on Drew's cock belonged to Lynda Gayle; the tongue bath was all Wendy's. "That had to be the most intense hand and blow job ever,' Drew says. "When it was over I couldn't walk for ten or 15 minutes."     Fortunately, the boy wonder showed remarkable recuperative powers. And in a few minutes later Lynda kicked her husband out of the suite's master bedroom, where he may or may not have been going down on Sharon. "Tom likes a hairy pussy and I have one," the schoolteacher boasted.

     The evening's grand finale got under way. "Penetration occurred,' Drew confirmed, sounding like the director of mission control. "Wendy started to have the first of I couldn't tell you how many orgasms." "There was no time for counting,' Wendy apologized. 'For the entire night, I'd have to guess around 30, I'm blessed at being able to have multiples. But I got past the counting point."  "Every time I looked, there were more people getting incredibly turned on," said Drew, whose back had been to the crowd, but who could watch their ecstasy in the bed's mirrored head-board. "Lynda started to spank me."    Lynda portrayed the act as one of selfless public service. "He loves having his ass spanked,' she said without remorse. "But Wendy couldn't reach around."     It wasn't that Wendy's arms were too short, only that they were otherwise engaged. 'Her hand was masturbating so fast while he was fucking her, I could barely see it,' said Lynda, who's seen just about everything else.   " Lynda Gayle grabbed me and thrust me into Wendy," Drew recalled. "And I heard moans and screaming around the room as people were having orgasms."

    "He lost it,' Lynda said. 'He had this incredible orgasm that made his whole body go into uncontrollable contortions."
The party continued for Drew and Wendy when they got home. "For the next two or three days we had sex like rabbits," Drew reports. "I couldn't stop. I was so sexed it was ridiculous." The two of them can't wait for Club Relate's next meeting. And Wendy has good news for the other members. "I clung to Drew more than I will at the next meeting," she promises.

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR OCTOBER 2005

In June you stated you knew of only one coed masturbation party. Since 1987, however, my husband Tom and I have been hosting them on a at least a monthly basis in Tampa and Orlando. We started Club Relate (clubrelate.net) after we went to a swing party and masturbated, which we both love to do and the club told us it wasn't allowed. Couples and singles interested in attending our parties must complete a two-hour orientation during which they talk about their masturbation experiences and they must agree to our club rules, no drugs, no smoking and always be polite by saying "No, thank you, but thank you for asking." We have as many as 40 people at each party and we keep the ratio at no more than two men to every woman. People can have sex, but most are content with touching. One thing we teach newcomers is how to give a "butt jiggle" a light touch that brings blood to the pelvic area. Adults can learn so much about sex by watching and doing, and we love sharing what we know ; Lynda Gayle, Orlando, FL

And From The Publisher: We're sorry to have overlooked you. The best thing about masturbation parties is that you never come alone.

SCARLETT FEVER A MAGAZINE FOR LOVER VOL 106

REFLECTIONS 1997

Tom and Lynda Gayle assured us that there was "NOTHING HOTTER" before we went to the 1997 Reflections convention in Daytona Beach, Florida. We walked away as exhausted believers. Our action packed weekend started Thursday afternoon. We to to the hotel in time to witness the hustle and bustle of all the vendors setting up there wares, as well as the early birds (like ourselves) filling the hotel in droves. It was clear that there were a lot of people anxious to get this fun filled weekend started.

We got ourselves check in, had a snack in the top floor hospitality room overlooking the ocean, and then headed for the beach. We stayed there until Tom and Lynda Gayle came and dragged us inside of a volunteer orientation. This is when we got our assignments for the weekend. Our job as greeters was to hug and kiss everyone we saw wearing a Reflections am band (What a terrible assignment!) It was really great to know that everyone at the convention could be identified so easily. That way at a glance, you knew if the other couple riding the elevator with you was or was not in the lifestyle

Thursday evening we attended our first workshop. There were three First Amendment Right attorney, (one which was David Wasserman) there to discuss our rights with us and to answer any questions posed to them, whether is was from individuals, club owners or publishers. We learned about many different things in the workshop, but perhaps the most interesting thing we learned is that even some attorneys have a great personality and sense of humor.

After the workshop we went to the ballroom for the "getting to Know You Dance". The facility was excellent, the music was loud and the MC, Bo was unparalleled. After we danced for a while, we went up to the hospitality room and visited with some of our new friends until the wee hours.

Friday started way too early for me with breakfast at 8:00 to 10am. The orientation for the convention was at 10:00. Immediately after that the first workshops started and they continued all day long. Some of the topics were : Swinging without Guilt or Jealousy with Dave, from "Liberated Christians," Simple Techniques for improving your Erotic Photography with erotic Photographer, Mike Saxton, The Ritual of Self Pleasuring, Playing Out Your Fantasies, Exploring the Magic of the Crystal Wand, and Restraint and Pleasures as it Applies to Swinging. The vendor room was open the whole day also, there were two conference rooms full of everything you could imagine and probably some things that you couldn't imagine.

The most interesting part about the workshops is that some of them were followed by a Lab Session. A special time and a private place where the group could come together (no pun intended) to practice and demonstrate what they had leaned in the workshop. I's just going to say that you will have attend next year to believe it!

Friday night started off with a dinner and a fashion show put on by Cathy Lynn of the "Extremity Body Jewelry Co." As usual, Ron wound up just about "*necked" out there on the dance floor again. Once again we saw everything you could imagine from all the vendors, there were plenty of dresses and lingerie, Body Webs, Body Jewelry, and Chains and Leather. The grand finally was amazing! Cathy Lynn pained up a willing volunteer with her Latex body paint (and nothing else.) After the fashion show we changed into our dancing shoes and danced for a while before heading to the hospitality suite.

Saturday started out the same as Friday, breakfast and then workshops and labs all day. Some of the topics for Saturday were The Sensuous Side of S/M, Woman to Woman, Bi sexuality, and More Fulfilling Swinging Through Intimacy, The highlight fro Saturday was the lab for "sensual Massage," with Ken and Julie. There were so many people at this lab it was held in the ballroom. We were instructed o n how to give a sensual massage from the tip of the toes to the scalp. First one partner was on the receiving end and then half way through we switched. After we made our way from toes to scalp again, we formed a "Human Car Wash". I 'm not going to go into details here either, it was jut a whole lot of naked bodies and some serious rubbing going on. There was one really bad thing about this lab, it ended way too soon! You'll have to attend next year to see it.

The theme for dinner and the ball was "Out Of Space." That didn't mean that the place was crowded, just that the decor and the theme were of the moon and stars, etc. I did see several full moons that night, and only one of them was in the sky!

We went to the studio and did an erotic photo session with Mr. Mike Saxton. He is a fabulous photographer, except he has this thing about you're only supposed to pretend! We tried to convince him that the real thing would be more fun. I can't wait to see the pictures!

Late Saturday night we started saying our Goodbyes. We had such a great time and made so many new friends that we DID NOT want to leave, to put it mildly. You can be sure, we will be at "Reflections 1998." Tom and Lynda Gayle have not set a specific date yet, but I am setting aside some time for their convention next spring! If you want to see those workshops, Labs, dances and parties for yourselves I suggest you do the same . As soon as they have a date set, I will announce it to you.

*Do you know the difference between Naked and "necked" Naked is when you don't have on any clothes. Necked is when you don't have on any clothes and you are up to something!